


The Birth of Change

by Fadedmon2



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: All kinds of Angst, Childbirth, Cussing, F/M, Feels, Gen, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, My fix it fic, Sadness, Solas to save the day, Stillbirth, blood mention, major trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 11:52:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6983953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fadedmon2/pseuds/Fadedmon2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story starts out sad as all get out, but it does have a happy ending. Solas finally makes a GOOD decision in his life. Please let me know what you think of this. I worked hard on this one. And I cried my eyes out too. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Find Him

“Stop pushing ma lady!” the old woman screamed  
“It hurts! Oh Creators it hurts! I have to push!” she begged grabbing the sheets  
“The child is stuck!” the woman yelled again  
“I have to push!” she screamed as she felt her pelvis cracking and the white hot pain sent her into convulsions  
“Where is the father?” the old woman screamed  
Cassandra shook her head placing a hand on the woman’s shoulder and when the old woman met Cass’s sad gaze, she dropped the subject.  
“SOLAS!” she screamed shooting up from the bed “Please make this stop...Please get her out of me!” she begged with tears in her eyes  
Cassandra moved to her friend’s side and placed her hand in the elven woman’s grasp. Shadow looked into her eyes pleading for mercy. Cassandra placed her palm on Shadow’s sweat soaked face and sang the elven song Shadow was always singing. The tune was offkey and Cass butchered the words, but Shadow’s breath slowed down and she felt the pain a little less. She laid back and listened to the words. She was calming and Cass gave her a smile. She could hear Cullen and Josephine arguing outside the chamber door. She tried to focus on the words of the song, but a horrible pain broke her resolve.  
“Allright Inquisitor! PUSH!” the old woman yelled and Shadow bared down pushing with all her strength. She felt and heard the flesh rip and then a pressure followed. She screamed for Solas, begged for him.  
“One more Inquisitor!” the woman yelled again  
Shadow bared down and with every ounce of her remaining strength, she pushed her daughter into the world. She watched as the woman pulled the babe from between her small thighs. She smiled as she leaned back on the bed unable to hold herself up anylonger. She waited patiently as the woman prepared the babe for her first feeding. Shadow waited eagarly to look into the face of her child, to see the resemblance to the babe’s father. She waited and waited. Finally unable to wait anylonger she pushed herself up on her elbows smiling  
“I want to hold her please. Give me my baby.” she was met with silence. Quiet. Too quiet. Where were her babe’s cries or coos. She lifted her head and searched the room “I said I want to hold my baby.” still quiet. No! Creators No!  
“Inquisitor the babe...” the woman’s voice trailed off  
Shadow shook her head “No! NO! He took everything from me! Not this too!” she screamed “GIVE ME MY DAUGHTER!”  
“Shadow she is dead.” Cass’s voice crashed into her like a violent storm  
“NO!” she shattered, sobbing and screaming, pounding her fists on Cass’s thighs.  
Cassandra stood still fighting back the tears that were pooling in her eyes The door opened and Cullen and Josephine entered eager to meet the newest member of the Inquisition, but stopped abruptly when they saw Cass and Shadow crying. Josephine ran to Shadow trying to console her, fighting back her own tears. Cullen dropped his gaze to the floor and wiped his tears.  
“Give me my daughter!” she demanded in a whisper  
“Inquisitor that is not wise.” the old woman warned  
“I don’t care! Give her to me!” she glared at the old woman  
“Yes Inquisitor.” she lifted the lifeless child and walked slowly to Shadow  
Josephine looked as Cass then moved to her side, offering support to the steadfast soldier  
The nursemaid placed the small body into Shadow’s arms. Shadow looked at her daughter and cried. She caressed the babe’s cold gray skin. She leaned down and kissed her tiny nose. She caressed the child’s tiny pointed ears. She held her daughter to her chest and cried.  
“Why? Why couldn’t I keep one thing?” her chest heaved and her tears stained the cloth her child was swaddled in. She heard Cass and Josephine crying. “Why couldn’t she live?”  
She traced the bridge of the babe’s nose with her finger.  
“You are so beautiful.” she cooed at the lifeless body “You have his nose.” she laughed through blinding tears. She grabbed the tiny hand and examined her small fingers, kissing the small digits. She pulled the babe to her chest and hugged her. “Goodbye my beautiful girl. You were just to perfect for this ugly world. May Falon’Din guide your steps ma lath.” she closed her eyes and sang the lullaby her child would never hear. She cursed the Creators. She mourned for her child. She would never get to see her dance in the meadow with daisies in her hair. She would never get to chase her through the keep. She would never get to snuggle her close when she woke in the night with a bad dream. She would never get to feel her tiny grasp, or hear her tiny voice. She would never get to talk to her about first loves. Teach her to shoot a bow. Or share stories of Shadow’s childhood. Solas had left her, and she thought she would surely die. Then months later she had received the news she was with child, when she went in for a sleeping tonic. She was so scared. When she shock had worn off, she couldn’t have been happier. Sure her love had left her, but he had given her a most precious gift. And now she lay in her bloodied bed holding her lifeless child, alone. It angered her and she felt bile rising into her throat. No. This wasn’t fair. Wasn’t right.  
“Bring her back!” she demanded glaring at the old woman  
“What? I can’t do that Inquisitor!” the woman stated shocked  
“But you’re a mage! Bring her BACK!” she demanded fire behind her yellow eyes  
“I can’t!” the woman insisted  
“Cole! Find Co-”  
Suddenly the spirit boy appeared right next to her causing the old woman to gasp.  
“Find him!” she demanded ‘NOW!”  
“Solas is far. But near. He knows. He has always known. He can. But he won’t.”  
“Make sense Damn you!” she glared  
“He is hiding. He dose not want to be found.” Cole stated looking pained  
“I don’t care what HE wants! Find him! I will not lose my daughter to his selfishness!” as quickly as Cole had appeared he disappeared. Cassandra ran to Shadow’s side  
“Shadow this is against the Maker! Let the dead rest!” she begged  
“Fuck your Maker! I will NOT lose my only happiness!”


	2. Make This Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas learns of the baby and comes to save the day. He also makes a very bold move.

Solas had been in deep meditation seeking out the location of a very powerful magic, when the Spirit of Compassion appeared.  
“Hello Cole.” he stated simply opening his eyes  
“Solas. She needs you. I want to help but can not. Only you can. She needs a powerful mage. I am just a spirit. You are a mage. You can help.” Cole was rambling again  
“Slow down Cole. Why does she need a mage?” Solas asked calmly placing his hand on the spirit’s shoulder  
“The baby. It sleeps. It dose not wake. I feel the life. It is not far. She holds the baby. Cursing the Maker. Cursing the Creators. She is angry. Full of rage. But she hurts. She needs you to fix it. Or it will kill her.” Solas had not blinked since Cole had said baby   
“Doubting. Unreal. Not happening. She can’t be. Could she. Did she. Did we. Am I.” he looked at Solas “Yes.”  
Solas felt his legs go out from beneath him and he landed on the hard ground. He could feel his breath quickening and his heart racing. He jumped when Cole placed his hand on Solas’ arm  
“She needs you.”  
“Take me to her.” he stood and followed the spirit boy

“I don’t care what any of you think! I want my baby back!” she screamed  
Her three advisers had finally given up the verbal battle and were heading out of her chambers when they heard Sara screaming  
“You little fucking shite. I’ll put this arrow right through your egg head!”  
Cole burst into the chamber with Solas panting holding up a barrier as Sara pelted them with arrows.  
“Shadow needs Solas. The baby needs Solas.” Cole stated panicked  
Sara dropped her bow and lowered her head when she saw Shadow clutching the babe to her bosom  
“Fine. But you better fix it! Or I’ll put this arrow through your lying throat, egg!”  
Solas dropped his barrier and turned to face Shadow. She was clutching a small cloth to her chest. His chest heaved and he felt his heart lurch when a grey lifeless arm fell from the cloth. He couldn’t stop himself, he ran to her and hugged her taking care not to crush the small body between them.  
“Fix this ma lath!” she sobbed “She doesn't deserve this!”  
He looked into her eyes and saw the need. “She?” he said cautiously  
“Our daughter” she lifted the lifeless child, to show him. He felt a lump in his throat and swallowed hard looking at the babe. She had his nose. She was so small. But she was so beautiful. Solas felt his tears falling down his cheeks as she handed the child to him  
“Please ma lath. Bring our daughter back!” she pleaded  
He placed the lifeless body down on the bed and unwrapped her swaddling blanket exposing her tiny chest. He placed his hand on her chest and gasped at how large his hand was compared to her tiny frame. He felt for any small sign of life that she may still possess, then smiled when he felt her life force. She was strong. Her life force was struggling to hold on. His palm lit up with the old magic and he layed it on her tiny chest. He spoke an Elvhen chant and willed her lifeforce back into her body. He closed his eyes begging anyone who still deemed him worthy not to take this tiny life away. He had destroyed so much, hurt so many. But not her. She was innocent. She was pure and good. Please just let her live.  
“Live ma’ esha’ lin! Live!” he begged pushing his aura into her and pulling her lifeforce to her. He felt the flutter of her heart, soft barely noticeable. But he felt it. He pushed more into her and the feeling he felt when her tiny cry pierced his ears was indescribable. Shadow grabbed the screaming babe tears filling her eyes and held her thanking Solas over and over again. A loud applause came from outside the chamber and then it resounded through the Keep. Solas stared at the crying infant as color came to her form. Shadow put the babe to her breast and she calmed suckling her mothers milk. He smiled at the sight of something he had created. Something he hadn’t spoiled. Something he could truly be proud of. In that moment nothing else mattered. He just wanted to hold her. To watch her grow. To teach her. To protect her. In that moment his duty was to her. Nothing else mattered, nor ever would. When the babe had fallen asleep Shadow handed her to Solas. He held his sleeping child studying her face. She grimaced and he wondered what such a small being could be dreaming of to make her scowl. Then she smiled. It was a small twitch of her mouth, but it warmed his heart. He smoothed the patch of auburn hair on-top of her tiny head and smiled, realizing she had his hair too. Well when he had hair. She stretched out. startled when her limbs reached their limit. He pulled her close to his chest and cuddled her there. Safe, close to his heart. His jawbone pendant fell out of his tunic and laid on the babe. He looked at it, how large it was compared to her. He remembered his promise to the people, to the pantheon, to the Dreadwolf. He lifted the pendant off his neck and looked at it. She stirred in his arm, and he smiled. Looking at the pendant again he tossed it, managing to make it all the way out the window.  
“Why did you do that?” Shadow asked concerned  
“I don’t need it anymore.” he smiled snuggling his daughter “I have everything I need right here.”  
“Everything?” Shadow raised an eyebrow  
He walked slowly over to her lowering himself careful not to wake her to Shadow’s side. She snuggled into his side taking in his scent and smiling.  
“Everything.” He smiled kissing her forehead  
“She needs a name ma lath.” Shadow’s muffled voice came from his side  
“How about Soun?”  
“Strength?” she sounded unconvinced “How about Fen’len?”  
“Little Wolf? Why?” he asked amused  
“She fought like a wolf to live...and I think it rather suits her ma lath.”   
Solas smiled smoothing the babe’s hair again “I think Fen’len suits her just fine vhenan.”


End file.
